Soondae Never Comes

On August 4, 2012August 4, 2012 By Emily KeithIn Anosmia, hits and misses1 Comment

The intention behind this project was simple – make sausages out of life before life makes sausages out of you. Decided to try my hand at the Korean blood sausage, Soondae. Hoping to employ a bit of ancient fusion I used barley instead of sweet rice. The remainder of the ingredients were easy to source at my friendly district superstore, even the pork blood. Speaking of pork blood, this post gets a little nasty, so if you are my 5 year old niece reading this on her Mother’s iPhone I hope an adult intervenes.

Sweet potato starch vermicelli noodles are texturally superior to most other vermicelli. I would know, I have leftovers.

Next step in the prep is to toast some sesame seeds in a dry cast iron, who could refuse? I’m sure this smells great, it kills me.

Time to hand grind the sesame seeds with ginger and garlic:

My end game was party-of-one Bossam, so I picked up a napa cabbage, oysters, some smoked jellyfish banchan, and decided to tea some quail eggs. I added soy sauce and shioxing wine to the soak because that stuff has been taking up space in my cabinet forever.

One of my greatest joys in this short life is new old stock kitchen appliances, the kind that some fated couple received in the 70s on their Big Day and never used. You can find them cast away at thrift stores, they are usually in battered boxes.

This particular Ouster has a very retro on-off switch that basically requires you to stick your finger into the interior of the machine, that’s a thrill.

Combine all of the aromatics with the barley and vermicelli.

Now it is time to tussle with the 3 feet of pig intestines you’ve purchased:

I’ve always credited Anosmia as the gift that allows me to be grossed out by very few things. In fact, most things that really make me gag: glitter, substances that change the color of my tongue, haphazard political discussions, are things that I’m told others enjoy. I was surprised to feel very…tested…when the act of running water through this bovine tract made my stomach curdle. These need to sit in salt water for an hour so after The Handling I took a much needed breather and left my apartment, expecting to return to the task with renewed enthusiasm.

A few hours later:

The opening of the pork blood container marked the beginning of the undoing. There is a potent life force involved when dealing with blood and once I ladled into the blood all I could think about was D.H. Lawrence and his “blood philosophy” – this thought sent me tumbling to my bookshelf where I convalesced for a few.

Back on track, the blood needs to combine with the prepped raw mix, run through the grinder and find solace in the intestines of the animal from which it came.

“what our blood feels and believes and says, is always true.” – DHL

This, my wise vegetarian friends, is a snapshot just before I Bailed. Something about the way the blood oozed from the rest of the ingredients and puddled at the base of the casings, well, I couldn’t take it. I wrapped the whole bloody mess in a 5-ply trash bag and walked it up to the compacter at the McDonald’s on Powell. I returned to hose my kitchen down with bleach solution and enjoyed a dinner of napa cabbage, tea eggs, oysters, and jellyfish – sans blood.

Operation Orgeat

On July 11, 2012July 13, 2012 By Emily KeithIn libations, miscellany, new to me, unsolicited adviceLeave a comment

I’m no stranger to fool hardy kitchen projects: 100 layer crepe cakes, pastas, kimchi (totally worth it), 6-hour french onion soup recipes, homemade ketchup (don’t bother). Thanks to my genetic history, re: Depression strained Appalachia, I’m not a time vs. money type of lady. If the output is superior when maximum effort is sustained, I’m all in, all the better. Hint: you usually save money this way, more bang for your buck, smart shoppers buy bulk!, etc.

When I needed an idea for a crowd worthy punch to take to a crawfish boil my Senior Booze Consultant suggested the Scorpion. I nearly ignored this advice until he revealed that I would need Orgeat and a store-bought version would simply not be acceptable. That’s all I needed to hear, the next several hours were filled with almonds and labor.

I used this recipe and, deferring to the professional, doubled the brandy. I “invested” in quality organic almonds by ringing them up as dried corn kernels in the you-check-yourself-out-line (sorry, Mom).

This is where things get simultaneously fun and a little boring.

After grinding all the blanched almonds in a food processor immerse them in water for two hours. The “inactive” cook time for this chore is a little daunting, I took my dog on a long walk and then folded laundry. You might choose to live a bit more wild and free, I wouldn’t blame you.

A while back I purchased a reusable cheese cloth thingy, you can see it holding the almond grinds. Best non-gadget for the kitchen, allowed me to wring the heck out of those almonds.

The grinds steep two more times for an hour each, then it’s time to heat up the milk and add the sugar, remove from heat and stir in the brandy and orange blossom water. At this point Operation Orgeat is getting pretty hot so let the syrup cool down while you, I don’t know, shop for a decent camera online.

A few days later:

07.11 014 — looking out for trouble is what we call fun

Juice some oranges, juice some lemons, add some brandy, white rum, and the orgeat, absentmindedly stir with a whisk.

6 oz orange juice
4 oz lemon juice
1.5 oz orgeat
6 oz white rum
1 oz brandy

Serves 3-4

“Bartender’s Guide” by Trader Vic, 1947

Keep it in the refrigerator for a while. Have some wine. Load the glass vessel containing the punch into your friends backpack, walk to the #17, arrive, add ice.