and one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us

On June 12, 2014June 21, 2014 By Emily KeithIn corporate consumption, new to me, new to youLeave a comment

I wake in the morning to the cracking sounds of metal on concrete. Demolition. Diesel engines. Hard Hats coordinating through specific directives, rapid shouts of construction, the high-pitched metronome of a truck in reverse. I don’t really mind, sometimes it’s nice to eavesdrop on industrial activity.

At night a group of drunkards stumbles past my bedroom window, reaching their way home from bars and booze, slurring a grocery list of topics only the inebriated discuss. They’re new here, rolling back and forth for the past 8 months. I don’t really mind, one day their repetition will break and they’ll walk home somewhere else; that can be a nice thought to think.

Everything is new here in my old neighborhood.

A few blocks West there are 3 new joints hawking fried chicken. To my immediate North there are FIVE NEW ESTABLISHMENTS SERVING PIZZA. I can’t complain, I love pizza.

Pizza Maria is a small restaurant within a large building that once held a cooperative grocery called Natures, then Natures closed and the building sat empty for several years. Now you can wait in line to eat at multiple establishments on the first floor and/or live in a condo on the top three floors. There are buildings just like this being constructed every 3 blocks within a mile radius of my apartment.

This is a cocktail that my friend ordered at Pizza Maria, she enjoyed it because she loves bourbon.

This is my minty lemonade mocktail which I enjoyed because I was very thirsty and love lemonade.

Here is a $9.00 cucumber salad which employs faro, sage, feta, olives and and a vinaigrette dressing. It’s actually a lot of food for two people so $4.50 per person is not a bad deal.

This is a sausage pizza. The owner of Pizza Maria moved here from NYC where he worked for Thomas Keller. He wanted to move here and open a restaurant because people in Portland have important conversations about food, at least that’s what he said in an interview. I can’t disagree, Portland is a nice place to talk about food.

There are only two important facts about pizza:

pizza is good

and for everyone.

guacamole boris karloff

On August 2, 2013October 26, 2013 By Emily KeithIn ephemera, fancypants, in the kitchen, libations, new to me, new to you, unsolicited adviceLeave a comment

Earlier this week the following recipe was tweeted, tumblred, messageboarded, mocked, revered, and discussed:

speaking to all mortals from beyond the grave

According to this unsourced and undated article Mr. Pratt had a fondness for the spice of life: the zip of chili, the slick of avocado. I kept my eye out for someone, anyone, who would build the monster and bring this recipe to life. I found one individual who stocked up on the ingredients but forgot the Sherry, he never reported back…

I’d like to welcome Boris Karloff to my food diary. Let’s do this right.

The brain you stole, Fritz. Think of it. The brain of a dead man waiting to live again in a body I made with my own hands!

The elephant in this recipe is Sherry, a white grape extraction. Fortified hooch. According to the modern internet very few of you know what Sherry is, you’ve never tried it and you are damn near horrified to see it listed among guacamole ingredients.

Have a heart. Sherry is delicious.

A bad Sherry (I won’t name names) is really sweet and sort of tastes like a caramel coated peanut shell. A decent Sherry tastes like almonds and cherry blossoms. I consider Hartley and Gibson’s Amontillado a decent Sherry. A GREAT Sherry (Valdespino) tastes like sunshine and marconas, like smiling at your true love in the middle of a crowded street in Seville.

I knew Boris was up to something really special with the Sherry inclusion.

two tablespoons of this glorious hue — this glorious hue

The brain which was stolen from my laboratory was a *criminal* brain.

Here’s what happens; the resulting “sauce” is super shiny, very lovely to behold. The Sherry brings out a pronounced nutty (think Macadamia) oily-ness from the avocado. I refuse to lie to you, the booze in this dish is evident on the palate…it’s a British recipe, what in the bloody hell do you want from me?

Yet there is a delicate balance to Boris’s creation that you will enjoy. Tastes like two feet in a split across time and culture. You have to try this for yourself.

I wasn’t content with dipping corn chips into this Guac. I felt overwhelmed with the desire to find a more noble application so I walked to Torres De Morelos on 31st & Powell, home of the best $1.50 tacos in Portland, and treated Boris’ special concoction to a dutifully spicy end.

(one lengua, one chorizo)
You have created a monster, and it will destroy you!

Up Next: I’m working on a long thing about what baseball and canned seafood have in common.

the story of how I climbed way up to the 44th floor and then fell all the way down but didn’t quite squish myself

On January 30, 2013January 31, 2013 By Emily KeithIn 5-cylinder sense experiences, ephemera, libations, new to me, new to you, PortlandLeave a comment

I’m rattling around Alphabet Town these days. My new professional gig provides a vantage point for the big possibilities in life that can so often dampen and darken if you stand out in the elements too long or turn the volume too low.

"do do du dut do do du dut" - Suzanne Vega — “do do du dut do do du dut” – Suzanne Vega

Today I dropped into the Pearl District for lunch at Byways Cafe. I listened to “Left This World” by La Sera on my headphones, volume all the way up, and I thought about New Things, Old Things, and Things I Haven’t Seen Yet. These concepts are all around me as I swim upstream – gathering strength for the next invertebrate drift.

At 2:00pm on a Wednesday Byways Cafe is as locals-only as Yur’s Tavern up the street. I chatted with a few people at the counter about our respective books and gazed in wide-eyed wonder at the awesome interior.

I settled into one of my main Life Skills, ordering.

You Are An Arnold Palmer It Is Too Early For John Daly

Whatever the importance of ordering as a Life Skill, it’s infectious. The two people on either side of me replicated my selections without hesitation.

Multnomah Melt - You Are Fresh Fruit — Multnomah Melt – You Are Fresh Fruit

Twice grilled Challah, smoked turkey, ham, havarti, red onion, avocado. This is about as perfect a sandwich as I can imagine. My Life Skill brethren and I jawed into this serenely cloudy lunch, melty and giddy. The waitress behind the counter beamed while espousing how good three Multnomah Melts smell when lined up together.

At the end of The Hudsucker Proxy, the movie responsible for the origin of the post title, Moses The Clock Man shoves a broomstick into the gears of a large clock allowing time to stop and the hero of the story to live; not only to survive, but to commune with an Angel of Advice. Life braces and the weather keeps falling. On my terms, this is exactly what Peace is about. For the past few weeks the Hudsucker finale has played over and over, both waking and sleeping, on the Super 8 reel in my brain.

Whoever my Moses is, wherever the realm my Moses inhabits, whatever Moses had to shove in the grinding gears of my life to keep me from squishing myself, to suspend me in truth and grace; I am deeply and extraordinarily thankful.

May we all have lunch every Wednesday.

*a very special birthday to my best friend extraordinaire, and Clock Man Contender, Mr. John Waggoner Junior.*

bunny bread surprise

Category: new to you

and one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us

guacamole boris karloff

the story of how I climbed way up to the 44th floor and then fell all the way down but didn’t quite squish myself