Earlier this week the following recipe was tweeted, tumblred, messageboarded, mocked, revered, and discussed:
speaking to all mortals from beyond the grave
According to this unsourced and undated article Mr. Pratt had a fondness for the spice of life: the zip of chili, the slick of avocado. I kept my eye out for someone, anyone, who would build the monster and bring this recipe to life. I found one individual who stocked up on the ingredients but forgot the Sherry, he never reported back…
I’d like to welcome Boris Karloff to my food diary. Let’s do this right.
The brain you stole, Fritz. Think of it. The brain of a dead man waiting to live again in a body I made with my own hands!
The elephant in this recipe is Sherry, a white grape extraction. Fortified hooch. According to the modern internet very few of you know what Sherry is, you’ve never tried it and you are damn near horrified to see it listed among guacamole ingredients.
Have a heart. Sherry is delicious.
A bad Sherry (I won’t name names) is really sweet and sort of tastes like a caramel coated peanut shell. A decent Sherry tastes like almonds and cherry blossoms. I consider Hartley and Gibson’s Amontillado a decent Sherry. A GREAT Sherry (Valdespino) tastes like sunshine and marconas, like smiling at your true love in the middle of a crowded street in Seville.
I knew Boris was up to something really special with the Sherry inclusion.
the monster masha fine chop on the tomatominced oniona tablespoon of thisa tablespoon of thatthis glorious hueThe brain which was stolen from my laboratory was a *criminal* brain.
Here’s what happens; the resulting “sauce” is super shiny, very lovely to behold. The Sherry brings out a pronounced nutty (think Macadamia) oily-ness from the avocado. I refuse to lie to you, the booze in this dish is evident on the palate…it’s a British recipe, what in the bloody hell do you want from me?
Yet there is a delicate balance to Boris’s creation that you will enjoy. Tastes like two feet in a split across time and culture. You have to try this for yourself.
I wasn’t content with dipping corn chips into this Guac. I felt overwhelmed with the desire to find a more noble application so I walked to Torres De Morelos on 31st & Powell, home of the best $1.50 tacos in Portland, and treated Boris’ special concoction to a dutifully spicy end.
(one lengua, one chorizo) You have created a monster, and it will destroy you!
Up Next: I’m working on a long thing about what baseball and canned seafood have in common.
There is a newly opened establishment on 39th Avenue in Southeast Portland, it’s located in a building that used to serve coffee, just around the corner from a place that still does. Turn left on the street with the broken sidewalk and take the next right on the sidewalk soaked with rain. Wander aimlessly (don’t trip), you’ll likely make it in the front door.
No Ordinary Place
Geographic placement is the only piece of homogeneity that pertains to The Kingdom of Roosevelt. It is not at all reminiscent of dining out for dinner in Portland. Oddly, Roosevelt is doing everything that usually equates to ‘Portland’: locally sourced ingredients, taxidermy and antlers, waitresses who look like they were birthed full-grown from the pages of a J. Crew catalog, but there is a shocking lack of pretension in this room that seats only 20 people and 4 of them can saddle-up to the finest, thickest bar I have ever laid my grubby hands on. Carved from Black Walnut, this length of wood is cool to the touch and visually stunning.
No Ordinary BarFox Confessor Brings the Pigeon
Roosevelt belongs to Eric Bechard and you’ve probably heard stories about Eric. ‘Hailing from the old Alberta Street Oyster House…he beat up a fellow chef in front of Magic Gardens…yep, they were fighting about pork.’ Far more interesting is the fact that Bechard hunts and forages the ingredients for this Kingdom. The Roosevelt Elk informs the dining room, the guests eat what the Elk eats, the eater becomes the Elk.
Be the Elk. Transform.
As is the case with many great tales of evolution, this one starts at the sea.
Sea Change
Raw Razor Clams from Seaside. Five Sea Vegetables. Radish. Cucumber.
My date and I ordered the 6 course tasting menu. Choosing between poetic menu items such as:
Fallow Deer Heat Tartare with His Marrow
Soft Cooked Egg and Smoked Steelhead Roe
Duck Broth with Her Poached Egg
Overwhelmed. We couldn’t decide.
Moving InlandPoached Potato Pâté , Duck Fat, Wild Garlic, Duck Cracklingslet the fixer work until the silver’s washed away
I ruminate about plate settings far more often than I admit. On a recent visit to a purported 5-star restaurant I spotted a steak knife with a plastic handle and I sank into a deep despair. I collect and use sterling silver at home not because I am a high-minded bourgeoisie (though I have my moments) but because it actually makes food taste better! Try tasting your favorite ice cream with a plastic spoon and then try a sterling spoon (ideally with the first initial of your last name engraved on the end). Tell me I’m wrong. Say Uncle.
duck breast carpaccio, pumpkin seed, cabbage chips, iris briar rose cheese (goat), cherries, sorrel
This is raw duck breast, it melts with the cheese, has a crunch of the cabbage, and marks the halfway point of your Elk Evolution. You are growing hooves. The woman behind you gasps a bit as new antlers begin to show through your hair. You are not afraid.
the trinkets and the treasures you brought back from the crusadespigeon liver custard, pickled huckleberries, elderberry gelee, edible flowers and such
This was SO INTENSE. A pungent game-y flavor with a hint of grassy sweetness from the greenery, the warmth of the elderberry. The supremely earthy mixture spreads on Little T Bakery bread unlike any…spreadable I have ever spread.
further evidence of proper settingsmy abiding loves
Pickled beets AND salt roasted beets, the most divine pickled Elk Tongue in existence, horseradish, a scant brush of fresh yogurt, wood sorrel. This is a special concoction from the kitchen because I am a gal who loves beets AND tongues. I guess that’s the kind of treatment you get when you’re wearing your t-shirt from the Abbey Bar in New Orleans, the one that says, ‘Repent, You F’n Savages! Repent!’ Turns out this sentiment takes you pretty far in a wild game restaurant. Now you know.
hello, old rabbit
Rye berry porridge with nettles, rabbit confit, soft cheese, black trumpets. This was very much like eating a risotto in a ditch deep within a forest that is far away from civilization.
elk meatball made with his leg & kidney, three cabbage dumpling, yogurt, fried shallot
The way The Kingdom uses small amounts of dairy is exceptionally brilliant. Now that your Elk Evolution nears completion you won’t have a taste for much milk and cheese but you will probably enjoy the rare delicacy in your overland travels. In case you’re curious, even Elks can drink wine…
Coattails Winery – 2010 Pinot Noir
This winery is one to watch. It’s owned and operated by two PNW brothers who come from a long line of winemakers. They actually work for other wineries full time, Coattails is their passion project. This is a huge pinot noir, the perfect libation for your new Elk self.
What a meal. You will enjoy this very much. Before you scamper off into the wild take a glance at your emerged proud tail.
Just because you order wisely doesn’t mean you order well. It’s possible to be ‘good at food’ and simultaneously good at very little else. Food is not a virtue.
the mug says it all
Lots of people eat at Mother’s in downtown Portland. Lots of people wait in line, tourists shove their luggage into a doorway the width of a very petite woman. The name of this establishment dictates its patronage; there will be children. You’re an adult with no children in tow, you will wait 45 minutes for brunch because someone you trust says that you should.
crumb
As you dodge launched Animal Crackers and Sippy Cups you might as well get the pecan cinnamon bun/strudel/whatever. You can finish it for dinner.
SOUP
The matzo ball soup is Worth It. Very few places in Portland serve it, even fewer make it well. Get a cup, not a bowl. The bowl makes you look like a glutton.
B & G
I’m a surveyor of biscuits and gravy. I have opinions. The high point of these is the half flour/half corn meal biscuit dough. The gravy is under-seasoned. The eggs are transcendent, see the edge crisp on the over easy? Get yours.
Dungeness Benedict, Esquire.
This is the brunch special on your one and only visit to Mother’s. The hollandaise is whipped to a thick and velvet meringue, the crab is sweet and new, the potatoes are treated with animal fat.
The waiter compliments the two of you on your fine ordering skills.
bunny bread surprise 